My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
