i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
