i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
