we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
