wakey wakey hands off snakey
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
