I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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