So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
