I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
