Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
