Reggie can tackle my bush.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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