living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
