if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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