I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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