Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
