He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
