I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
