She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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