i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
