don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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