Pregnant stripper...not hot.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
