We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
