You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
