Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
