I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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