i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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