So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Randomize
