exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
