So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
