At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
