marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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