Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
