apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
