I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
