Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
