scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
