Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
