Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
