Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
