I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
