I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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