sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
