You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
