Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
