apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
