Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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