as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
