Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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