dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
