college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
