come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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