Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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