How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
